Statue of Joe
Way back in the 1930's there was a person, nowadays we would refer to him as a "street person" or a "homeless man", but back then he was just a plain old bum or a tramp. He lived in a cardboard box by the railroad. He would tramp from location to location on the railroad in a boxcar and meet with other bums. These fellows would often go to houses near the railroad and "bum" food. They had a tightknit society of other tramps and bums. They would mark houses that were known to be a soft touch with the food by engraving a symbol on the door or fence. Sometimes they would get money from the "marks" and might use that to buy booze. They would share the booze with their friends and expect them to share when they had some. There was respect for each other within the tramp community.
One day one of these tramps attempted to bum some money from a rich old lady. She took pity on him and spoke with him at length. He seemed like such an interesting fellow that she put him in her will for ten million dollars, a small part of her estate. Within six months she died the will was read. Her lawyer had to find this fellow in order to execute the will. It took another six months to track him down, he did this by contacting the hobos who might know our hero. Doing all this made the lawyer well aware of the tramp culture.
We do not know this man's name, but the other hobos called him "Willie". Willie was a crusty old bum, had been a tramp most of his adult life. He had many interesting tales and a philosophy based on his life as a bum. That is why the rich old lady liked him so. She had assumed that with enough money he would be a cultured member of modern society. Willie may have been intelligent but he was not educated and he did not speak well.
They lawyer finally tracked Willie down and told him of his good fortune. Willie knew enough about the world to know that he would also need representation so he hired the lawyer to help him. The lawyer now worked for Willie.
Willie was very happy to have enough money to be able to live in one place, to have his own bathroom and all. So he ordered the lawyer to build his a big, fancy house. Willie wanted a large mansion, he had been cold for years so he wanted a fireplace in each room. He had never had a place to use the toilet other than a tree or take a bath by himself so he ordered six marble bathrooms. He wanted the best of everything, he was going to invite his other hobo friends to share in his fortune just as they had done with their booze. One of the request he made of the lawyer was that each room have a "Statue Joe". He wanted a bowl of fruit in each room so he and his friends would never be hungry.
The lawyer went about his business, contracting to make the mansion as Willie wanted it, or as close as close as he could figure to the request. Sometimes he had to guess just what it was that Willie, with his limited experience, was asking for. Sometimes it was hard to understand Willie becasue he spoke so colloquially. But eventually the place was done. He had to track Willie down again.
Willie was brought to his new digs. He was shown the marble bathrooms, he was shown how to use the features of them he had never seen before. He was taken to the nice bedrooms, each with fresh hay as Willie had ordered. He was shown the fancy kitchen, the long hallway, the great living room. Each room had a two to six foot marble statue of what the lawyer thought Willie's friend Joe might look like, based on his time searching for Willie. It was a haggard man with a bag thown over his shoulder holding all Joe might own. The statue had a worn hat and a cigarette butt. He was impressed by much of it, awed by some of it, and happy with what he saw. So the lawyer asked him if it was all to his liking. He said "Dis is all real good, I like everyting ya done here, but what about the Statue Joe? I wanted a Statue Joe in each room."
The lawyer pointed to the table in the middle of the room with a large bowl of fruit, fresh apples and oranges and bananas. Behind the table was one of the marble renderings of what the lawyer thought Joe might look like. "Does that not look like your friend Joe?"
Willie walked over to the table, looked at the marble carving, and took one of the bananas and held it to his face, one end near his mouth, the other near his ear. "NO, no, no! I said in each room there should be one of those things that you hold like this and say 'Stat you, Joe?"
One day one of these tramps attempted to bum some money from a rich old lady. She took pity on him and spoke with him at length. He seemed like such an interesting fellow that she put him in her will for ten million dollars, a small part of her estate. Within six months she died the will was read. Her lawyer had to find this fellow in order to execute the will. It took another six months to track him down, he did this by contacting the hobos who might know our hero. Doing all this made the lawyer well aware of the tramp culture.
We do not know this man's name, but the other hobos called him "Willie". Willie was a crusty old bum, had been a tramp most of his adult life. He had many interesting tales and a philosophy based on his life as a bum. That is why the rich old lady liked him so. She had assumed that with enough money he would be a cultured member of modern society. Willie may have been intelligent but he was not educated and he did not speak well.
They lawyer finally tracked Willie down and told him of his good fortune. Willie knew enough about the world to know that he would also need representation so he hired the lawyer to help him. The lawyer now worked for Willie.
Willie was very happy to have enough money to be able to live in one place, to have his own bathroom and all. So he ordered the lawyer to build his a big, fancy house. Willie wanted a large mansion, he had been cold for years so he wanted a fireplace in each room. He had never had a place to use the toilet other than a tree or take a bath by himself so he ordered six marble bathrooms. He wanted the best of everything, he was going to invite his other hobo friends to share in his fortune just as they had done with their booze. One of the request he made of the lawyer was that each room have a "Statue Joe". He wanted a bowl of fruit in each room so he and his friends would never be hungry.
The lawyer went about his business, contracting to make the mansion as Willie wanted it, or as close as close as he could figure to the request. Sometimes he had to guess just what it was that Willie, with his limited experience, was asking for. Sometimes it was hard to understand Willie becasue he spoke so colloquially. But eventually the place was done. He had to track Willie down again.
Willie was brought to his new digs. He was shown the marble bathrooms, he was shown how to use the features of them he had never seen before. He was taken to the nice bedrooms, each with fresh hay as Willie had ordered. He was shown the fancy kitchen, the long hallway, the great living room. Each room had a two to six foot marble statue of what the lawyer thought Willie's friend Joe might look like, based on his time searching for Willie. It was a haggard man with a bag thown over his shoulder holding all Joe might own. The statue had a worn hat and a cigarette butt. He was impressed by much of it, awed by some of it, and happy with what he saw. So the lawyer asked him if it was all to his liking. He said "Dis is all real good, I like everyting ya done here, but what about the Statue Joe? I wanted a Statue Joe in each room."
The lawyer pointed to the table in the middle of the room with a large bowl of fruit, fresh apples and oranges and bananas. Behind the table was one of the marble renderings of what the lawyer thought Joe might look like. "Does that not look like your friend Joe?"
Willie walked over to the table, looked at the marble carving, and took one of the bananas and held it to his face, one end near his mouth, the other near his ear. "NO, no, no! I said in each room there should be one of those things that you hold like this and say 'Stat you, Joe?"
2 Comments:
Oh, My! I thought it was about a deaf guy!! Well, maybe that was "Bananas, Art?"
The "Bananas, Art" one was not a joke, but it was a story about a person that was hard of hearing.
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